The Men of Mills Calendar,

For a while I thought this was a silly idea, but actually it's the best idea ever. Ever. It's not important that my friend Charlie Gurke thought of it and wants me to credit him. It is important that when it happens, which it most certainly will, the monumental proceeds, of which there are certain to be monumental amounts, go to a worthy cause. I was thinking maybe 580Split or the Fainting Goat Society, whoever e-mails me back first.

Of course, I will need to get the body talent together, so Charles, Dennis, William and Dan, this is your casting call. Tell me a little bit about your interests, you know, what you like to do with your leisure time (relaxing fireside with the classics, maybe. sailing off the Keys in a jaunty schooner, perhaps) so the artistic director (me) and I can get together and start location scouting. Start talking to your designer friends too and bring some wardrobe, it's always better out of the model's closet than mine. Naturally, I won't be making an appearance myself, so I can devote all of my time to The Vision, which is nothing less than the best-selling quasi-erotic male wall calendar from a small, predominately women's private college on the west coast. Ever.

Oh, but it's so sweet...